Q: Dr. Ronn, how can I recover from our break-up? I can’t seem to let it go-even when she’s now with someone else?
A: No way around it, recovery takes time-sometimes lots of it. But not just time, when there is a new “hole” in your life (the loss of the relationship) your recovery can drag on forever if you don’t fill that hole with something else.
Please avoid indulging yourself in endless thinking, questioning, wondering and focusing on your ex and invest that time and energy into growing yourself. Now IS the time to get going with those plans, dreams, opportunities you have been putting on hold: start the business, finish the degree, get the therapy, take the trip, plan the project, join the cause, etc.
Bottom line: don’t shrink your life, expand it-even though it may feel like the WRONG time to try something new.
No, it won’t immediately feel like all joy and sunshine. That will take time and consistency. But if you don’t shift your focus from the past to the present and future, you’ll NEVER get over your break-up grief.
That, sir, would make me VERY sad. Because you truly deserve a life that is moving forward, not eternally looking backwards.