couple-gazing-at-each-otherEverybody hates rejection—even the subtle forms which can crop up every day –  such as a broken promise, punishing silence, a sarcastic remark, or a promised phone call that never comes.

All of these can feel like a slap in the face and a brutal assault on your self-esteem. When that happens you can’t help but to put up your guard the next time.

But, not really knowing when “the next time” might be, you could be tempted to keep your guard up all the time. Something inside warns you that men are almost certain to end up doing you wrong, if you get too relaxed.

The sad reality is: if you, even subtly, look, speak or act as if you expect a man to behave in a “trifling,” no-class way—it’s very likely he soon will!

Expect Respect

Actually, your expectations have a powerful effect on the kind of treatment you get from men. The more positive your expectations of them, the more likely they are to meet them. Conversely, the more negative your expectations, the more “prophetic” they’ll prove to be.

Men are definitely capable of treating you with the good-manners and dignity you deserve.  And yes, you should require it of them.

But, you create a fertile climate for that kind of treatment, when you start out expecting it—and offering the very same thing to him.

You Go First

Never start out with the blind assumption that a potential mate cannot be trusted, then treating him as if it’s a fact. That’s finding him guilty until proven innocent. Unfair!

Instead, start him out with a clean slate.  Give him every opportunity to earn your trust by demonstrating his trustworthiness.  That’s finding them innocent until proven guilty!

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Relationship Reality:
Men are most motivated, for serious commitment, with the woman whom he

can impress by surpassing the positive expectations she already has of him.
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In dating and relationships, that’s what most makes a man feel good about himself.

So, if you started out with low expectations of him, he’ll soon sense there is little opportunity to dazzle you with his quality treatment of you.  So, he’ll either move on, or he’ll simply stick around and perform like the low-quality guy you predicted him to be in the first place.

Never begin the dating process with the blind assumption that a potential mate cannot be trusted to treat you honorably. That’s finding him guilty until he’s proven innocent.  Unfair!

Instead, begin by seeing him as a clean slate.  Give him every opportunity to earn your approval and generous applause by his honorable behavior—as if you expected it of him all along.  That’s finding them innocent until proven guilty!

The Bottom Line

You’ll find you get the most respect from men, when you are 24/7 committed to displaying huge amounts of respect for yourself.

Your high level of self-respect invites him to rise to that same standard.  If you have only a little, he’ll quickly discern that it only takes a little to satisfy you. Show no respect for yourself—or for others—and you can count on them to match that level.

Self-respect calls for YOU to conduct yourself like you’re God’s treasure—AND treat others as if they are as well.

Action Steps:

  • List at least five ways you can verbally communicate your high expectations of a man’s treatment of you.
  • List at least five ways you can nonverbally communicate those same high expectations.
  • Immediately begin to incorporate these actions when interacting with men.
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