Part II
Ronn Elmore, Psy.d

Imagine for a minute that your marriage were a business venture. Would it be a huge success or a major flop?

Would your spouse be a very content team member – or looking around for another gig?

Our most intimate and significant relationships don’t always get the time, attention, and sacrifice that we give to our work. Here’s a success principle from the business world that could be even more beneficial when applied to your marriage:

Ask the BIG Questions to Close the Deal

In business, once you’ve determined that your prospect is qualified to buy from you (and that your product will solve their problem), it’s time to ask for the order and close the sale.

In relationships we don’t always get around to asking for the order. That is, we often fail to ask the important questions that can make the biggest difference.

For instance, you may ask him if he’d prefer chicken or fish for dinner. You may ask her if we should stay home or go out. But do you ever ask your spouse how much do they feel loved and valued in the marriage—and what can you do more (or less) of to increase it?

Remember that hit song from the 80’s that went…You don’t bring me flowers anymore; you don’t sing me love songs”? It was sung as a duet about two people with two different strategies for making the other know they were loved.

One person used to bring flowers and the other used to sing love songs.  Somewhere along the way, their lives had become busy with responsibilities and they’d lost track of each other. Now, without a word spoken about it, both partners had stopped doing what they used to do to express love and affection.

How might this fate have been avoided by simple asking your “customer” the BIG questions early—and often?

►The Secret to Success◄

One day, much later, I happened to ask her, “What do I do that most makes you sure that I love you?” and she quickly replied, “When you write those love poems for me.”

So, I made a mental note: “write love poems for Aladrian regularly”. That’s just one example of how asking a BIG important question can instantly supply you with a practical way to keep your “market” well served and very satisfied.

Otherwise how will you and your mate KNOW you are treasured? It’s only by being willing to ask the really BIG questions.

Do it and you’ll keep finding out exactly what your “customer” is shopping for. With that information you can supply it and keep on closing the sale, until “death do you part”.

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