At times living and loving can be complicated. Complicated stuff can stir significant emotions that may be challenging to figure out and respond to.
One of the key ways women naturally tend to process their emotions is through talking.
Needed: Nouns, Verbs & Adjectives
It’s her way of thinking out loud – and she most prefers to do that with someone that she is sure knows and cares about her.
Talking through her emotions is fine for her, right? But NOT the approach men typically prefer at all.
Isolation vs. Conversation
Men, in general, tend to process their emotions in isolation.
But, women want to get it done through conversation.
(Note: If yours refuses to talk, she probably still prefers it, but doesn’t feel it’s safe doing it with you.)
Keep Her Talking
But IF she’ll talk, you’ll bless her if you let her.
Because to her, the greatest gift you can exchange with her, is your listening silence and your affirming words
You’ll actually help her process more completely and finish more quickly by egging her on to talk even more.
Let her “ramble” as she shares her thoughts, and feelings with you. Avoid “fact-checking” or interruptions to give her your insights or advice (unless she asks). That only distracts her and slows down her processing.
Simply offer her your focused, body and verbal and facial signals that you are tracking her words and acknowledging her feelings.
The easy part: When she’s finished, keep it simple – and sincere. Just say, “Wow! You mean….” Then briefly summarize HER words and HER feelings as she shared them (with no interpretive “spin”). Close by asking her, “So… did I get it, because I really want to?”