Beware, in love and relationships, your fiercest enemy is self-centeredness. All of us—you included—have some. It’s that part of ourselves that wants what it wants, how it wants it, and when it wants it.

Count on your—or your mate’s—self-centeredness to show up and do its damage when you least expect it.

If you see your relationship as first and foremost a place for your needs to be met, your desires to be satisfied, your plans realized, your feelings heeded and your pleasure gained, you’ve got a selfishness problem.

Phrases like “I’m trying to find myself some true happiness…” sound harmless enough, even commendable. In reality, when sentiments like these top your list of priorities, you’ve stepped over into the Land of Me, Myself, and I.


These are NOT the same things. Self-centeredness always demands “Saks Fifth Avenue prices” be paid for its own happiness—but is only willing to pay “clearance sale prices” for their mate’s happiness.

Self-love says “I’m worth it, but so are you. Getting mine WILL NOT keep me from contributing to yours.”

Confront your self-centeredness. Face its ugliness head-on, confess it as sin and refuse to dance to its music another minute. Self-centeredness doesn’t deserve residence in your life—and certainly not in your love life.




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