*Tip for Today*
*ARE YOU AN APPROVAL ADDICT?*
Take this quiz…
- In a dating situation do you get distracted analyzing what you think the other person thinks of you?
- Do you constantly work to avoid your mate/date’s disapproval?
- Around the opposite sex do you feel slightly “fake” (like you’re playing a role)?
- In dating and relationships do you often settle for getting far less than you give?
- With your date/mate, do you tend to remain silent about your personal opinions and preferences?
- Even when they’ve treated you rotten, do you lie about why you’re breaking up with them.
The ONLY way to turn this around is to take the risk of fully engaging with the opposite sex, but minus all the self-editing and twisting yourself into whatever image you assume THEY want.
How to Stop “People-Pleasing”
*ADMIT* your Pleaser tendencies. Because if you aren’t honest with yourself about your approval-seeking you’ll just call it “putting my best foot forward” or some other lie. And your love life will remain all “give” and very little “get”.
*FOCUS* on breaking your approval-dependency by intentionally setting up situations to risk disapproval. (For example, I assign my coaching clients to risk saying “No.”(without further explanation) to at least one request from a friend or loved one daily.
*EXPECT* to feel weird when mates who have only seen the Pleaser in you get a little thrown off by your new signs of self-confidence. Push forward anyway.
*ENLIST* a “support team” (a coach like me, plus one or more accountability friends) to help you transition to relaxed, authentic interaction with the opposite sex. Your coach and your partner should have your permission to get in your face and yank you back into reality when needed.
Those who are the happiest with a mate are those who can also be happy without one. They recognize that being in a relationship doesn’t give them self-worth, it just gives you a place to display it.
*Where to Begin*
If you’re a woman who’s feeling almost ready to get “out there” and try dating again (minus all the fear and people-pleasing)–we should talk…
START HERE: http://www.drronn.com/preptalk/preptalk.html