How Do YOU Hide?
It is not hard to understand why we love our “hiding places” in relationships.
We’ve all used them ever the first time we let someone we loved see our true, unmasked selves and they quickly abruptly lost interest and left.
If love is that dangerous, we reasoned, then I must stay ready to retreat to the safety of a hiding place where my true self can’t easily be seen.
• We hide our shortcomings to avoid ridicule.
• We hide our deepest desires and expectations to keep from being denied.
• We hide our fragile insecurities to keep anyone from cruelly having their way with them.
• We hide to protect ourselves from emotional devastation.
What It Costs to Hide
But if you keep choosing silent retreat over honest disclosure, you may eventually notice angry payback or cold detachment as your mate’s response.
This might have been avoided by letting your mate in close enough to know you intimately …genuinely.
If you allow the hidden places in you to stay hidden, you send a clear message that emotional/spiritual intimacy in your relationship is only secondarily important.
And that protecting yourself from rejection is the primary thing to you.
Coming Out of Hiding
Though it may not be easy—it CAN be done. IF you are first willing to confront your hiding tendencies. Open your mouth and boldly share your vulnerable thoughts, feelings and concerns to your mate.
Be very patient with yourself. Your aim should be progress NOT perfection.
Your courage to expose your favorite hiding places is the best means of encouraging your mate to share their own.